Dear Stranger (2)

To the Boys and Men who... I have wronged,
I cannot understand what makes you think it is okay to ask me on the street to marry you or to be your girlfriend. Or to follow me in your car, turning circles just to see me and holler vulgarities I can't understand. Or to follow me in the market and touch me. I wish I could. I honestly wish I knew what was going through your head – what twisted train of thought or painful series of events led you to allow those questions to exit your mouth, to allow your hands those actions. Maybe you are a product of your culture and up-bringing and maybe you don't know any better... or maybe you do and you've just had a few too many drinks. Are you lonely? That, I can understand. And it may be that you have never known how to behave towards women, you have never had an example of a gentleman in your life. I'll wager the reason for your behavior is more complicated than even you know or are able to explain. But I want to tell you that it is not okay; it made me feel like an object, a thing to be had – not a person to know and to value. When you followed me on the street, I felt sick to my stomach, thinking my legs would not be fast enough to outrun you. When you eyed me the way you did, I felt mentally undressed, violated. I hope you will come to understand that some day. For if you knew what it did to me, I don't believe you'd have continued.

But I also owe you an apology.

For I have dehumanized you; I have been angry with you and judged you. I have called you disgusting and looked down on you from a pedestal of self-righteousness. My reaction is no better than your action. Who am I to say that you are less deserving of grace, love, life than me? You are certainly not. Forgive me for not even trying to see you as a valuable human being.


One day, when we are reconciled (for we have wronged one another, my brothers), I will probably still not want to do your laundry or make you a sandwich, but let us talk, let us get to know one another as we are, all dark things cast away.


And to those who have done far worse to our sisters,
things that I cannot conceive of, even in my darkest, wildest nightmares. What justification you may think you have, I do not know, cannot fathom. Maybe you can't either? Do you know what searing pain you have caused? I doubt you do. And yet, you, too, have an overflowing cup of forgiveness you may drink from. You will see grace in a heart-breaking, pain-staking journey through your soul with your Father. Cling to Him. And then, brothers, yes – brothers, we too will see, truly see one another as we are, all dark things cast away.

With love and anticipation,

Your sister.

Comments

  1. AmelMagOctober 2, 2018 at 10:22 AM

    Thank you for this. Beautiful and powerful and such a needed reminder.

    ReplyDelete

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